I’ve been thinking how modern journalism and writing is being dumbed down all the time: thanks to TV, internet and other new media that have decreased our attention span and ability to dig deep into the issues. We are no readers anymore, we’re skimmers and surfers.
Also, increasingly, newspapers sell by packaging violence, crime, sex, rape, pedophilia, incest as news items in a puerile or pandering way. No doubt tabloids sell far more than ”quality” newspapers. So, even many quality newspapers want to copy tabloids in content or in format- many ”quality” newspapers in UK are actually being sold in a tabloid size and look.
Not all are guilty though. But anyway, I will be merciless and spoof major international newspapers’ names, mostly my inserting the word crime and its variations. The results are often hilarious. See below:
1.) The New York Times from USA= The New York Crimes.
2.) The Times of London from UK= The Crimes of London.
3.) The Los Angeles Times from USA= The Los Angeles Crimes
4.) The Christian Science Monitor from USA = The Christian Crime Monitor.
5.) The Globe and Mail from Canada= The Parole and Bail.
6.) The Toronto Star from Canada= The Toronto Crime Star.
7.) The Irish Times from Ireland= The Irish Crimes.
8.) The Financial Times from UK= The Financial Crimes.
9. ) The Wall Street journal from USA = The Wall Street Burner
10.) The Economist from UK= The Arsonist.
11.) The Age from Melbourne, Australia= The Criminal Age.
12.) The Sydney Morning Herald from Australia= The Sydney Mourning Herald.
13.) The Guardian from UK= The Crime Guardian.
14.) The Daily Telegraph from UK= The Daily Polygraph.
And finally some Toasts….
1.) The Washington Post from USA= The Washington Toast.
2.) The New York Post from USA= The New York Toast.
3.) The National Post from Canada= The National Toast.
4.) The Copenhagen Post from Denmark= The Copenhagen Toast.
5.) The Prague Post from Czech Republic= The Prague Toast.
6.) The Jerusalem Post from Israel= The Jerusalem Toast.
Honorable Mention…
I have not put my brain to spoof foreign language papers but may get to it sometime later. Pardon my French but here’s one that I’m working on:
Le Monde from France= Lemonade or Le Blonde.
If you got any ideas please put them in comments section. Feel free to spread the word and take your pick if you want to quote or publish some of the names. Please remember to cite the source as I hold copyright to all the crimes and toasts ( though I just figured that someone is even running a website called Washington Toast!)
Cheers
Rajiv.
