Picture of pain that we can change.
I was discussing the horrors of sexual abuse for victims with someone and the discussion turned to the impunity often enjoyed by perpetrators. For years, they are never brought to justice and when they’re, the damage to the victim is irreversible and besides they get off too easy and lead normal lives, sometimes to victimize some others. Here is my discussion on the topic and the idea to combat this crime against humanity and the most vulnerable ones in our societies, who are our future too: children.
Truly sickening stuff. But that’s not uncommon at all. Also, what really angers me is the impunity. I know about a friend (from UK), online, whom I have known for about 8 years. She, along with her many cousins was sexually abused, bullied beaten, hurt for years by one Uncle. But she was the particular target and stayed so until she was about 19. Well, of course finally there were court trials and all. She had also become pregnant two times and the kids were given up for adoption (by the court) although she loved them as they were her own flesh and blood after all. She was not allowed to meet her kids for years. The perpetrator was fined or something..And today he walks the streets like an old respectable man and nobody remembers or cares anything about his past.
This particular lady friend still lives a deep scarred life though. She cannot form relationships, has been into many other abusive, violent relations including very abusive marriage. She has suffered from severe depression, low self esteem that has become acute in recent years leading to other physical ailments, including bad Asthma, anorexia, slurred speech or a kind of stammer. But the man responsible for it leads a normal life, probably he has victimized other children during all this time. Can you believe it ? Injustice!
I have just thought about an idea to stop these deranged criminals and also to make people aware of these criminals. People should create special blogs and websites targetting their respective community or region or at bigger scale. They should name and shame these individuals. These blogs should also mention how many convicted pedophiles are living in the area.
In case, some relatives, friends or church leadership who know about it don’t want to name them for personal reasons, they can still start writing anonymous blog posts, keeping full details nameless or obscure. They should write how much hurt they’re causing, for how long it has gone on and how they’re on the verge of naming or reporting this particular person or persons. Then the links to these blog posts should also be sent to the perpetrators in a letter or something and they should be informed that they’re being tracked, their actions are being documented. They must stop and make appropriate compensation.
Well right now transparency is the key. In a cloistered society there will be no whistle blowers because everyone got something on the other. But when things are transparent and in public view, everyone behaves. This is my opinion.
I believe when a society totally seals itself off from the rest of the world, it implodes and becomes tribalistic and criminal. Worst human instincts are unleashed because no one is watching and never will. Children must be protected from the horrendous abuses and crimes going on behind the closed doors.
** The following was added later on 13th of November**
I am thankful for the kind and positive response I have been getting about this post. Quite a few people pointed out that such websites are already being run that report and track convicted abusers. But the major emphasis of my post was to track and defrock those who are not formally convicted but there is certain evidence or knowledge of their abusive behavior and crime. These people may be anywhere at home, in a workplace, school, church, in the neighborhood, in hospital or many other ”professionals” who may be abusing their access to the victim or victims. Please note that most abusers never get ”convicted” formally. So, I particularly emphasize to remove any possibility of immunity to these people.
Also, I pointed out that sometimes formally naming these persons may be a very delicate issue where the victim’s privacy is of utmost importance. In those cases, I suggested, blog posts can still be written about the abusive relationship with regular updates. And those posts should be brought to the attention of perpetrators. Most hopefully, It will have two results:
1.) It will directly act as a deterrent as the criminal would be scared that he or she is being watched and monitored.
2.) It may also hit the perpetrators’ conscience, actually also the conscience of many other unknown perpetrators who may chance upon those blog posts.
