Notes from the Underground: Superstitions, coincidences, supernatural February 19, 2007

 

Picture: God only knows how many sparks surround us and we know them not….

I always find myself attracted to dark and bleak things. Things that exist under the surfaces. I have always wondered about the supernatural stuff and have blindly believed some of it too (you know the spirit world, God) Some of you may yawn at the mention of spirits but at the same time believe in Extra terrestrial life. If you scratch the surface it is more or less same thing!

But personally, I can also tell you that despite many hours and years of my solitary observations I have never noticed anything supernatural in my life. No sights, voices, images floating and stuff for me… even when I have been in deliriums, paroxysms induced by too much caffeine or very little sleep for days on end. In other words I’m sane! You would be amazed to know how many people claim to hear voices or see things. Indeed many of them are normal people with normal jobs and life.

I have always been very fascinated by radio waves. It has always baffled me how come so much information travels at the speed of light and we remain unaware of it unless we got some device to decipher them. As a kid, I lived in geographic locations that barely had more than 2 local low powered radio stations. I was always very hungry for information. Then I discovered shortwave radio listening. With a boom, I could receive radio signals using modest receivers from locations as diverse and remote as (please let flaunt) : U.S.A., U.K. Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Swaziland, Switzerland, Ukraine, Uzbekistan, Mongolia, Kuwait, Iran, North Korea, Equador, Finland, Saudi Arabia, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Vatican city, Sweden, Thailand, Austria…. list goes on and on . AND NO! I’m not schizophrenic , I got QSL cards from many of these stations to prove I did listen to them!

Indeed we’re surrounded by radio waves.. not only hundreds of radio stations, satellites, Tv stations, mobile and communications antennas… phew.. this stuff is mind boggling. But what is very queer… scientists have – for decades- been monitoring… radio waves coming from other planets, stars, galaxies all the time! That’s right, this little planet is being constantly bombarded by Extra terrestrial radio signals that we don’t even understand.

Neutrinos (subatomic particles) are other ballgame. I think I first read about them in Bill Bryson’s ”Short History of nearly everything”. They can travel zillions of light years… they are so small that they pass through almost any mass, planets, water bodies… they pass through our own bodies in stunning numbers alllll the time.. that we are literally soaked in them. If you’re feeling curious or nerdy, here is a little link for introduction: http://www.fnal.gov/pub/about/public_affairs/neutrinos/questions.html#2

Why am I talking so nerdy?? Because in a Universe as chaotic, awe-inspiring and incredible why should we so instantly tag people with superstitions as idiots? So, that brings me to personal matters that I will mention and finish this blog. I very much welcome you to mention your own experiences in comments section.

Lucky, Unlucky:I have lived under one almost crippling superstition. I believe both Monday and Tuesday are VERY unlucky for me. So many accidents, hurts and even tragedies have occurred on these two dark days repeatedly that it is not even funny anymore. This also means that most weeks I find myself in fear of these days and don’t take any initiatives because I fear they will fail (and indeed they do!). This has caused me to miss out on very big opportunities in life. I know it’s irrational and stupid, that’s why it is a superstition!

Coincidences: Well… no one is spared by this one! Some coincidences are so unbelievable. Most times, I think in an odd and zigzag way that I find coincidences in so many things! Just one happened right now… I put a quote from Kennedy on my page and next moment I see a big headline about Kennedy flash on my own newsfeed! Another one that has been driving me insane… is … I always find myself looking at the digital clock when it is just past 2am… mostly it is 2:22am or 2:02am or 2:23 am… I have been ignoring it for two weeks… but it just happens.. I get up to go to toilet**, I’m reading a book**, sometimes I almost get a nudge when I’m lying or sitting in bed and I look at the clock with a startle and it is always some minutes past 2am… everyday. WHY??

Feeling Angsty and contemplating a psalm February 15, 2007

”I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me… but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world.” From movie, American Beauty

Today.. has been a weird day for summertime (in Southern Hemisphere) : Cold, gray, windy, gothic. Strange, I was reading Wuthering Heights.. and it made it so real for me because the descriptions of the landscape and bleak cold days on the wind blasted moors of England bear some resemblance to the weather today. Yeah, you can call it dull.. But I’m not ashamed to say I love it. Cold, gray, rainy, autumn, winters. I always loved them. )

But anyhow, I suddenly felt pangs of angst within me today. Sadness welled up for no apparent reason or source. There is so much evil and viciousness all around us, maybe it gets us and we don’t even know when or why. The other day I was shocked… if you type ”Massacre” or ”genocide” in Google Images… you can come across pretty gruesome pictures… I saw this blood covered man’s dead body lying on the ground and two little girls lying by his side… they looked pretty in their little dresses… just like little dolls that are sleeping. Only they were covered in blood and dead too.. and then.. i thought… how chaotic and evil this world has always been. But in any war humans kill humans who are all related to each other biologically/ genetically. That’s why this simple quote rings so true:

”All War is Fratricide” – Louis De Bernieres in Birds Without Wings.

Everyday I go online news pages always have stories of suicide bombs going off in Iraq and other places. I know I know…. we are so desensitized to it, we hardly feel anything. I’m sure many of you would be lot more upset if your plastic shopping bag tears off when you are walking with it! But still… my heart goes out to those families who live in daily terror…. and everyday they lose a loved one to bloodshed over which no one seems to have any control… I pray that all who want peace shall get it…. and all who generate hatred, malice, violence, evil will be destroyed. The latter maybe MUCH more closer to home than we could imagine or care to think.

Naked greed in some sections of Western governments has caused more deaths, genocides and suffering than hundreds of Osamas ever could. The latest is reports about French government’s support (including arms, ammunition) for the perpetrators of Rwandan genocide (About 1 million butchered, raped, hacked like cattle) is another reminder. But who cares, it’s not on TV! Real evil hides behind pretty faces.

I am thankful to God that there are no bombs, gunshots going off around me and my family/ friends/ and you people reading this blog!!! I am thankful for the strength that I have to fight against all odds. I am thankful for the amazing grace of God that miraculously carries me through all storms when I thought the game was over and ”darkness is my only companion” (Psalm 88) But here I would like to write , probably most quoted Psalm (23) so that those who hope in God may seek comfort:

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever.
Obtained from www.biblegateway.com (NIV version of Bible)

”When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.” February 5, 2007

Picture: A shooting star under a starry sky. Taken by Finnish photographer Pekka Parviainen

”O Lente, lente currite noctis equi!”

(O Slowly, slowly, run you horses of the night)

”Two things fill the mind with ever new and increasing wonder and awe, the more often and the more seriously reflection concentrates upon them: the starry heaven above me and the moral law within me.” Immanuel Kant.

Another odd blog post from the odd me. And yet another one that was inspired by an odd incident that transpired in the firmament last night at 3am. As I mention in my ”interests”, star gazing actually IS my hobby that sometimes verges on obsession… I’m prone to obsessions anyway… very possibly somewhere on the spectrum of Obsessive Compulsive.

So, Anyhow…. as night falls, I miss no opportunity of gazing at the stars at least couple of times a night. My favourite constellation is Orion (for the layperson, the one with 4 stars that form a rectangle and have 3 stars inside the rectangle, placed diagonally.) Orion is just beautiful and has been with me as long as I started star gazing in my teens, in the Northern Hemisphere… and quite uniquely it is the only major constellation that is visible in both Northern and Southern Hemisphere.** I miss beautiful Great Bear since I moved down under.**

last night at 3am I was more or less falling asleep in my bed… and then… I just got up because I wanted to look at the stars. Which can be seen from my window (on the first floor of my student dorm.). Actually, starry sky works just like a huge Auditorium, if you think queer like I do. lol. Also, it moves as the night passes… all the constellations move just like the Sun does during daytime.

These, days at about 2am, Orion comes just in front of my window, as it slides towards the horizon and looks bigger and bigger, until all its stars sink below horizon and become invisible…one by one.

So , at 3am I rushed to the window and looked out at BIG magnificent Orion. And just as I was looking at it, a little shooting star streaked across it almost as if someone saying HELLO BACK! . Again, very SURREAL. ONLY this time it wasn’t a dream!!!!

Dreamscapes February 4, 2007

Picture: A sort of Gothic looking country road.

This morning around 5am… a sort of surreal dream shook me and I woke up wondering what it was!? This inspired me to write a short blog about dreamscapes and that dream. I know I am not one special person who experiences surreal dreams…. most of us do. And it will be very interesting to get people to comment (though my blog’s reach is minimum)…what sort of dreams they dream, what they find striking, what kind of dreams they classify as pleasant or nightmares or inspirational or gloomy…

Ok! I will get back to my dream. This is the constant theme in my dreams… my soaring into the sky… defying gravity… soaring and floating in the magnificent blue sky, dotted with pretty fluffy white clouds here and there. The dream normally starts at me walking on the ground and I just want to run and take off… just like an airplane racing on the runway and taking off …. like some little miracle.

I do know… this particular theme recurs time and again in my dreams because I have an extreme need for personal freedom, liberty that directly clashes with the legal, social, cultural, political, religious and evil designs of this world ***I love you Ayn Rand*** lol…. I think we all have this kind of feeling in some nook and corner of our brain. Well, here is my dream…..

This time I was walking with a school bag hung on my back (reminder of my school days that I always considered a harrowing conformist prison. lol).. Apparently, I was walking towards my morning class that was to begin shortly. I did not want to. And I looked at the road and other people around me sullenly as I walked towards my class. I wanted to just take off and fly…as I always do in most of my dreams.

I walked past a bus stop…. there were many people (young, old, slim, fat, ugly, average looking, pretty) waiting for some bus. Everyone started staring at me… as if they knew I had some big secret…and that I was up to doing something, ON MY OWN, that will give them no credit as a society of people. So, I started to walk fast… then run… run faster… faster…. then skip…. every kangaroo like skip would lift me up in the air…. every skip got larger and larger., something like those astronaut on moon where gravity restricts less… And now.. I almost began to glide in the air.

Then…I soared…. like an eagle… effortless and smoothly… People at the bus stop saw me lift off. Their jaws dropped. I saw them getting smaller and smaller. They hated me for doing my own thing, on my own. They pointed fingers at me and muttered among themselves what an evil and selfish person I was.

But I continued to soar…. adrenalin rushed in my veins…. I was feeling so high and good. I soared above the buildings, the roads, the traffic lights…I did not have to stop for anything. Soon, I figured I was approaching these very high and rugged cliffs…. I would have to soar higher so I could cross them…

And I did so…. I managed to fly over these lofty cliffs. I smelled sea breezes. I got confused. I looked down…. all around me for miles and miles there was this immense ocean!!! It sparkled with  dark greenish tinge-color of dark moss-… and its ripples reflected shiny sun above me, like thousands of tiny mirrors. Very surreal.

Now, this can be considered either beautiful or otherwise. But I am not finished yet. My dreams often end in something dreadful… something like Hitchcock movies. So, now…there is one very big problem with this picture that none of you can even imagine…. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SWIM!!!!

So, naturally, seconds after observing this pristine, vast ocean of  dark metallic green color I am filled with deep sense of foreboding….. that begins to grow inside me…. And… I begin…. to descend…. I am paralyzed like someone going through horrible dark depression…. I know I can still soar…. but fear starts to take over and I continue to descend towards this infinite ocean…. that grows darker and darker as I fall…………..

At this moment, before I could splash… I woke up to see it was 5am…. I looked out of the window. No ocean… Just roads, houses bathing under the street lights and in the black sky above… quite a few stars still shining brightly, right before the dawn….